Malcom's Tactical Analysis
by geekman2
Summary: The Romans move to invade camp half-blood, it seems a hopeless battle the Romans will raze it to the ground as they did in ancient times. But Malcolm has a different idea; and he's going to make sure his sister has a home to come back to.


"Okay guys, listen up, we have a camp to defend" Malcom said to the rest of the camp gathered around the dining pavilion, "You've all heard the reports and seen our enemy" he gestured to Annabeth's magical viewing shield that displayed the Roman legion camped out somewhere off Long island.

"You can see here that their numbers are not great enough to overwhelm us in a straight assault-"

"But they're the Romans!" Drew interjected "I can't believe I am reminding YOU of history! They destroyed Greece in the ancient times, and nothing has changed!" her charmspeak was swaying the room, people were muttering to each other about the hopelessness of the situation.

"Nothings changed? My sister is in Tartarus! That's changed! I will not have her come out of Tartarus , to find this place destroyed because we couldn't win a fight against our far less ancient, and completely mortal, enemy! "

The room got very quiet, Malcolm waited for someone to argue with him, to say that Annabeth wasn't that important, waited to pound that person into a pulp with his bare hands, but no one spoke.

"How are the borders?" he asked, addressing the Hecate cabin.

"They're at full strength. But they only keep out monsters, not demigods like the Romans, how does that help us?" Asked Keiera, Hecate cabins head counselor.

"Monsters are attracted to the scent of demigod, there is going to be more demigods here than have been in any single place in over a hundred years, we'll be protected by the magical borders, so if we can hold Half-Blood hill, the Romans will be assaulted on two fronts, by us and a whole bunch of angry, frustrated, and hungry monsters."

"But can we hold the hill?" asked Katie Gardner.

"Clarisse..." Malcolm said, giving her the floor.

Clarisse stepped forward and started speaking, "Centuries of hardening have not made this camp so easily taken. First of all, we have the hill itself, since we hold the high ground we have the advantage of both range and visibility. We can see them and hit them far earlier than they can hit us. Though we're no match for their shield wall, one on one, us Greeks will DESTROY the Romans. So if we can break their formation, the battle is ours."

"That's not what Riordan said" interjected Pollux.

"Riordan? You mean the guy who records what goes on here and publishes it to the mortal world?"

"Ok, is Riordan a child of Athena?"

"Uh, no"

"Is he a demigod?"

"No"

"Has he even demonstrated any affinity for tactics or weaponry?"

"Not really"

"So why on earth would you take his word over that of a son of Athena and a daughter of the god of war?"

"Because, uh"

"Exactly, moving on" Malcolm said "If we can make sure they never even get to the top of the hill, all the better. Katie, I need you guys to "encourage" plants like poison oak, nettle, and thorn bushes to grow on that hill. The more there are, the harder it will be to climb and the slower their progress will be"

"We can do that" Katie said "But what prevents them from simply burning the plants and then walking right over?"

"Nothing, assuming they see them"

"So, we hope they attack at night and don't bring flashlights?" Katie asked skeptically

"Keira, that's going to be your job, the mist causes people to see what they want to see. They won't be expecting the hill to be covered in unfriendly plants, it's your job to make sure that's what they see. Do you think you can handle that?"

"Yeah, I think so"

"Good, now the next thing we need to do is break their formation, no single tactic can be trusted to work 100%, so I found three, first, satyrs, your reed pipes will be immensely useful, grow vines, turn the spears to branches, anything, hinder their progress, cause confusion, that's your goal. Second, Apollo cabin,-"

"Before you say it, our arrows are ineffective against their tortoise formation"

"I know, but shields are relatively ineffective WHEN THEY'RE ON FIRE, so I've asked the Hephaestus cabin to-"

"Okay, so we've made you some awesome new arrows; here, let me show you." Interrupted Brian, the fast talking Hephaestus camper, taking out a long rectangular box, "First you'll notice that this arrowhead is much larger than normal, that's because on impact the head will shatter and ignite the thermite contained within, thermite burns at 4000 degrees Fahrenheit it will probably ignite the shield it hits, at the very least the soldier will drop it" Brian continued, talking so fast and excitedly it made him sound more like a salesman than an engineer

"Make. You. Some. New arrows" Malcolm said slowly, he opened his mouth to speak, but Brian had already started speaking again

"But that's not all! We also have these all new catapults! Ironically based off of the Roman Onager, we have improved both its power and precision, to allow us to hit exactly what we want, no matter where it lies! Allowing us to destroy both the formation and any artillery they might bring with them"

"Yes, which is another thing that works to our advantage, any supplies, equipment, or soldiers they need, have to be transported across the country, and since the Kerkalopes are trashing the enemies supplies"

"Kerkalopes?" Somebody in the back asked

"Pickpockets with epic skills" Malcolm explained "they have a love for anything shiny, including the Romans precious Imperial Gold weapons. Now, they've posted a guard, but first of all, this works to our advantage, because constantly keeping watch is going to make them tired and not quite in perfect fighting condition. Second, even if every member is on watch 24/7 the Kerkalopes will still manage to steal a considerable amount of stuff,I hear they can steal the zipper right off of someone's pants. I don't know where they came from or why they're helping us, if they are, but we'll take advantage of it while we can."

"Okay that's great for all you warrior types," Drew began, "But what are all of us supposed to do? Give them bad fashion advice?"

"Ah, I was just coming to that," Malcolm said smiling, "You guys may not be very useful in a fight, but you do have other skills"

"Yeah, we have the best hair-" one of the Aphrodite girls interrupted

"Kind of what I was saying, you see, I want you guys to go down there and surrender, make up some excuse, like "I'm afraid of war" or something"

"Wait, you want us to just go down there and say "We give up"? That's General Malcolm's grand plan, "give up"?"

"You didn't let me finish, I want you to go in, surrender and then start using your charms to "distract" the soldiers"

"Nice" he heard from the lips of several Aphrodite campers

"Once you've endeared yourselves to them, I need you follow the example of the greatest Aphrodite girl and start leaking information, numbers, plans, anything, just try not to die." There was a moment of silence as they all hung their heads to honor one of the heroes of the Battle of Manhattan,

"Okay, seduce the guys, be spies, easy" Drew said confidently

"I need you to do one more thing, Drew, you're going to need to use your special talent to convince them to let you guys keep your phones, then, before their attack I want you to call, text, communicate with your friends"

"Which ones?"

"All of them, we want as many monsters here as we possibly can get, more monsters, more chaos; and Clovis, Clovis, Clovis!"

"Yeah? huh? What I miss?" Clovis said blinking

"I need you and any other children of Hypnos to go and convince the Romans that the best, most desirable thing in the world is a deep, long sleep, the guards, the officers, everyone, can you do that?"

"Yeah" Clovis said yawning

"Am I forgetting anyone?" Malcolm asked

"Yeah! What are we supposed to do?" Travis Stoll asked

"You guys are good at sneaking right?"

"Well, why don't we ask," Connor grinned, "This love letter we printed from your laptop" he said drawing it out from behind him

"The drive was encrypted! How on earth did you get it?! Give it to me now!"

"God of thieves my friend " Travis said smugly and cleared his throat, "To Scarlett, daughter of Hecate, acolyte of magic, and holder of my heart,-"

Suddenly the letter erupted in sparkling blue flame, everyone looked over at Scarlett, who had her hands outstretched, clearly having just cast the spell.

"Well I do believe that is private business, don't you? Scarlett said smiling, "Now why don't we let Malcolm finish"

Malcolm smiled at this, resolving right there that after this meeting he was going to ask Scarlett out, she was so kind and thoughtful- no! Not right now, right now he had to finish this meeting

"As I was saying, you guys are going to have to put all of your talents to use for your job, I want you guys to spy, sneak, and steal as much information and equipment as you can, I also need you to, if you can, rendezvous with the Aphrodite campers to funnel information out"

"Ok, but what about this? What if we start playing pranks on them, but make it look like it was another legionnaire? Cause dissension in the ranks?"

"That would be good if you can pull it off, but can you?" Malcolm said skeptically "It could blow your cover if they find out"

"Have you found out who hid all your designs in your mattress yet?"

"that's where they are! That was you guys?! Argh!"

"Yup"

"Okay, that's everything you guys need to know, and though we do have gigantic advantages, don't cocky, this camp needs to survive" Malcolm concluded quickly, "And you two, you may survive the Romans, but I'm going to kill you"

That was the fastest he'd ever seen those two run, he'd catch them later, but he had something else he needed to do first. He squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and resolutely walked towards Scarlett.  
"Hey, so, do you think maybe sometime we could, get dinner sometime?"

"Who knows when all this will blow over, how bout now?

"Why not? Let's go" he said decidedly

As they walked into the rather convenient sunset Malcolm decided he wasn't sure about happily ever after, but life was pretty good right now.

A/N

This came from the Riordan's faulty idea that if the Romans invaded it would result in the destruction of camp half-blood. I began performing a tactical analysis and found all the problems with this concept, and thus this story was born.

If I forgot any gods or goddesses review and let me know I may add them, no one gets left behind!


End file.
